Flipping the Script on Goal-Setting
“The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.”
It seems Stephen R. Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, merely gave a modern twist to Socrates’ timeless wisdom with his Be-Do-Have model.
Most of us tend to approach life backward: "If I have X (money, a dream job, an amazing partner), then I can do Y (travel, create, live freely), and finally, I will be Z (happy, fulfilled, at peace)." Covey’s (actually, Socrates’) approach flips this on its head: first be (your best, most authentic self), so you can do (act in alignment with your goals), and eventually have (the outcomes that naturally follow).
This idea—endeavoring to be something until you embody it—struck me early in life, even if I couldn’t articulate it back then. At 14, I decided I wanted to live abroad, and the "abroad" of my dreams was Vienna, Austria. Of course, I tackled the practicalities: learning German, researching the requirements for university enrollment, and meticulously completing a mountain of paperwork (without the convenience of YouTube tutorials, social media, or much of the internet). But preparation alone wasn’t what made it happen.
I still have the diary from that time, where the real magic took shape. Every day, I wrote in broken German, imagining my life in Vienna as though I were already there. During summer visits, I wandered through the neighborhoods, peeked into my future dorm, and strolled past the university. Back home, I continued crafting my Viennese life in my journal—describing my studies, friendships, and routines as though they were already real. Without today’s distractions, this immersive exercise became my driving force, a visualization that carried me from dreaming to being.
When I eventually moved to Vienna, I stepped into a life I had already lived in my mind, a life full of effort, discovery, and fulfillment. I’ve carried this approach with me throughout my life, and I can confidently say that in everything I’ve achieved, I first had to endeavor to be. Whether it was moving to a new country, mastering new skills, or pursuing any goal, the process always began by embodying the mindset, habits, and qualities of the person I aspired to become.
Now, it’s 2025. You’ve got a fresh year ahead of you (or maybe you’re reading this in December, panicking about how little time is left—but hey, no pressure). Either way, it’s never too late to start executing your Be-Do-Have script. Here’s how to do it.
Step 1: Set a clear goal
What do you really want? Be bold, be specific, be unapologetic. Don’t just settle for a vague "I want to be successful" or "I want to feel happier." Nope. Pinpoint the one thing that, if you nailed it, would make everything else in your life fall into place. Want to run a marathon? Visit Ireland for the first time and maybe even move there? Build a thriving business? Take some time off? Learn to dance salsa without stepping on someone’s foot? Learn a language?
Whatever it is, put it into words. Write it down, say it out loud, stick it on your fridge—just make it real.
Step 2: Understand the "Why" Behind It
Before you dive headfirst into your goal like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party, take a step back and ask yourself: Why? Why does this goal matter to you? What’s the deeper motivation behind it?
Sure, running a marathon sounds impressive. But are you doing it for bragging rights on Instagram, to prove something to yourself, or because it’s been on your bucket list since you were little? Your "why" is the fuel that will keep you going when you’re knee-deep in the messy middle, wondering why on earth you ever started.
This isn’t just about slapping a motivational quote on your bathroom mirror—it’s about digging deep. What will achieving this goal really mean to you? Will it give you confidence? Freedom? A sense of purpose? The clearer your "why," the harder it’ll be for procrastination to talk you out of it.
Step 3: Research It
Now that you’ve got your "why," it’s time to do your homework. (Don’t roll your eyes—it’s more fun when it’s about your dream.) If your goal is to start a business, read about how others have built theirs. If it’s to write a book, dive into podcasts with authors who’ve been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale. Whatever the goal, treat it like a mini-obsession.
The point here is twofold:
You’ll start to see what’s possible and get inspired by real-world examples.
You’ll realize that no one magically "has it all figured out." Behind every seemingly effortless success story is a mess of trial, error, coffee-fueled late nights, and sheer determination.
Step 4: Identify Someone Who’s Already Achieved It
Here’s the fun part: find someone who’s already living your dream. No, I don’t mean stalking them on Instagram and wallowing in envy over their perfectly filtered life. I mean studying them. What are they doing that got them to where they are? What habits, routines, or mindsets do they swear by?
Want to run a marathon? Look up stories of first-timers who crossed the finish line against all odds. Dreaming of building your own brand? Find entrepreneurs who started small and scaled up. If they’ve written about their journey, listen to them like they’re your personal mentor. And if they haven’t, pay attention to how they carry themselves and what they consistently prioritize.
Ask yourself: Who is this person? What qualities define them? Maybe they’re bold, determined, optimistic, energetic, or relentlessly persistent. Now here’s the key: if you want to achieve what they’ve achieved, you need to embody those same traits. Start with one. Pick an adjective that resonates—let’s say persistent. Then decide: I am persistent. Write it on a Post-it note, stick it where you’ll see it every day, and let that word guide your actions.
Step 5: Strive to Be That Person Every Single Day
Now, the real work begins. It’s time to stop wanting to be that person and start being that person. This doesn’t mean you have to overhaul your life overnight—this isn’t a reality show transformation montage. It’s about the small, consistent actions you take daily.
Want to be a writer? Write every day, even if it’s terrible. Want to get fit? Show up for that workout, even if you’re tired. Want to be more confident? Speak up in meetings, even if your voice shakes. Success isn’t built on perfect days; it’s built on showing up, even when it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable, or downright hard.
And here’s the secret: the more you act like the person who has already achieved the goal, the more you’ll become that person. Fake it till you make it? Not quite. Rather, this is practicing it until you embody it. Over time, your actions will align with your identity, and your dream will feel less like a far-off fantasy and more like an inevitable reality.
At its core, this entire process boils down to one deceptively simple truth: who you are shapes what you do, and what you do shapes what you have. It’s not about waiting for the stars to align or for some mythical "perfect moment" to come along—it’s about showing up today as the person you want to become tomorrow.
Yes, it’ll feel awkward at first. You’ll stumble. You’ll cringe at your early efforts. You’ll occasionally feel like an imposter. But here’s the magic: every time you act in alignment with your goal, no matter how small or imperfect, you’re casting a vote for the person you’re becoming. And when you finally reach that goal—whether it’s crossing the finish line, publishing the book, saving money, or moving to your dream city—it won’t feel like the end of a journey. It’ll feel like coming home to a version of yourself that you’ve been becoming all along.
So, start now. The future you’re dreaming of is waiting for the person you decide to be today, and then again tomorrow, and the day after that.
What is your big goal and who do you have to be to achieve it? Share your comments below!
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